Friday, April 2, 2010

How to Deal...?

I have never had to deal with suicide before. Especially someone I knew and loved. How do you deal with that? On the one hand I am so shocked she would think that that is the way out. So sad for her loss. Wished I would have called her more. On the other hand I am so angry with her for doing that to herself when she had so much going for her. She was a beautiful, happy person and there was no reason for this. I am so angry that she would take the easy way out. She had the strength to deal with anything thrown her way and she chose not to. I just don't understand what could have been going through her head at that moment. Tomorrow is her funeral and I am unable to attend and it breaks my heart. I wish I could be there to say goodbye.
So to Jessica, I am so sorry I wish I could be there tomorrow. I wish we could have partied even just one last time. I wish you wouldn't have done this to yourself.  I can only hope that you are in a happy place but I miss your crazy butt dearly. Love you.

Jessica Turner 10/17/87-3/28/10

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